So here I am on the edge of the spreading expanse of gorgeous, beautiful countryside which is my new career and way of life. And what do I feel most like doing?
Finding a cottage with a real fireplace to go and sit in, closing the curtains so I don’t have to see the large, open, scary space in front of me. Which is absolutely, insanely wonderful but currently scaring the sh*t out of me.
Years ago, when I was doing jobs which left me feeling engaged but unfulfilled I dreamt of this place I am in now. Looking at it from that end I just didn’t expect it to feel like this.
I pictured joy, lightness, freedom, enthusiasm, relief. At this moment I noticed that I could not see those things for negative self-talk, distractions, procrastination and inertia.
Inertia was the word which helped me. FM Alexander writes:
“…in all such efforts to apprehend and control mental habits, the first and only real difficulty is to overcome the preliminary inertia of mind”*